How can you Mend a Lonely Heart?

When I was younger and I finished a project, I don’t ever remember feeling anxious for the next one.  Now that the I-129F form has been in review for a month now I have this ridiculous anxiety that keeps telling me to do more.  With Liam’s visit right around the corner (aka TOMORROW!!!). This is a very exciting visit because not only will we be getting our engagement pictures done and celebrating 7 months of bliss, we will be together for two whole weeks. This is the longest visit we have been blessed to have. It’s very exciting because we have a ton to do with the wedding and researching venues and other accessories.

                The down fall to this visit is what comes after. Liam is, hopefully, starting a new job soon and will not be able to visit after September. My company starts our open enrollment and it's literally exhausting because it's so busy that we can't take time off till February.  After this trip I won’t see Liam again till February 7^th 2013. With the foreknowledge of my impending doom, I have started trying to be more proactive and find things to keep myself busy. I have vowed to use this time apart to better myself and keep a more positive attitude about our situation and just life in general. This is one of those things that people refer to being “easier said than done”.  It’s no secret to anyone who is friends with me on Facebook knows that I get a bit depressed (this is possibly an understatement) when Liam is not around. Others who are experiencing the same long distance relationship knows it gets hard when all you can do is harp on the fact that you are not together.  

                Once Liam and I are a part, I go through what I call The Lonely Process. For the first couple of days after Liam leaves, I cry. I refuse to see people and keep mainly to the confides of my room. As weeks go by I get better and end up just secluding myself.  My diet consists of any kind of junk food I can get my hands on, shoveling it in my face and wallow. A month after Liam leaves I begin to be proactive and start working out and doing everything I can to make sure our visa process goes by faster. Plans with friends and family start to creep their way into my schedule. I begin working on a new project which includes me frequently changing my room furniture around.  Around a month or two before I know I’m going to see Liam again I begin what Facebook knows as "The Countdown". My work friends would refer to it as the paper chain link I have on my cubical wall that tells me how many days are left. This usually starts around 40 days before I see Liam. Then, just a week before I see Liam, I go crazy, getting everything ready and  being happier than I have been in the past however months. Listing my reaction out I can see how this seems ridiculous and pathetic. This is only just 3 month separation, imagine the magnitude I am about to face with 7 months. 

             As much as I am dreading this, I am determined to keep a more positive attitude and use my time wisely. This is going to be the last holiday that I am in America for. Next Christmas, Liam and I will be married and living in England! Today is a perfect day to take charge and change things. I have decided to start taking my writing seriously and have enrolled myself in some writing classes. My life has been too filled of drama to ignore. I have tons of ideas and it's time I used my talent to make a name for myself. Everyone tells me how important it is for me to find myself in this time and I really think that they are right. Soon I won't be an individual anymore and I will have someone else to consider. I will not have the opportunity to be on my own and figure out what makes Amanda, Amanda. After college I lost my passion and I need to gain that back. Somewhere between the drama of 2011 and getting my life in order I lost the discipline that college had instilled in me. I am also going to re-apply to The University of London: University of Education. I want to pursue my English degree and actually start a career that has something to do with my major. I shovel out hundreds of dollars to pay back the government for a diploma that looks pretty on my shelf. I need to start thinking about putting that to good use. I need to do this for myself, I can't spend everyday crying that I am not with Liam, unfortunately it won't change anything. This time is time for me to get all my ducks in a row to be able to move to England eventually and to be Amanda while I still can. In order to make a happy relationship, I first have to make myself happy. 

          To all my readers (I'm not sure how many of you actually read this), take advice from someone who knows, harping on the distance will not make it disappear. Those three thousand miles will be there wither you're crying and stuffing your face of cookie dough or not. Laying around depressed listening to My Chemical Romance will not bring him/her any closer to you. As Liam tells me, it just makes the other person frustrated and upset because they can't do anything. Take a lesson from me, the worst offender of this and "pledge" to change. Make yourself happy so that in turn you can make your partner happy. Seeing you loving life will make them just as cheerful. 

      So ladies and gentlmen, seeing that Liam is going to be here in 1 MORE DAY, I should probably pretend like I'm actually going to sleep (when in reality we all know I'm going to lay in my bed squealing that Liam will be here in 48 hours!!!!!)



Just so I know people are actually reading this (maybe...probably... hopefully...) let me know if you have any questions or issues you'd like me to write on. I'm a pretty open person and I'd love to hear the things that your struggling with so that I can be helpful and encouraging! Just leave me a comment on this post and I'll be happy to write something up on your topic.

Thank you all for reading! Keep your chin up and hang in there! :) 

            

STOP: FASHION TIME

Hey guys, I'm taking a moment to give a shout out to my friend Morgan! She has this AWESOME blog about fashion on a normal budget and I'm addicted to it.

Read it guys, seriously, pure awesome-ness.

http://treasurextrove.blogspot.com/


Thank guys!

Visa Secrets

The day has finally arrived! Liam and I have submitted our I-129F forms aka Fiance visa!

Here it is on it's way to the USCIS!

That packet is the reason as to why I have been away from the blog and now, apparently, grind my teeth from stress. This packet took me officially a month to complete, but it's done, finally!

For this post I figure I would share some of the knowledge I have gained from this experience.



So let's take it page by page. Oh, and by the way this is FOR THE USA ONLY! Here is where I got all my information from: http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis

Page 1: You are going to want to put a G-1145, E-Notification of Application/Petition Acceptance form. This form will entitle you to get a notification through e-mail or text as to what the status of your application and what the outcome is.

Page 2: Cover letter. You can find examples of this form online. Honestly, I just put "Cover letter to I-129F form" into Google and came up with LOADS of responses

Page 3: The Payment. The I-129F visa cost $340.00 currently for the 2012 year. You will need to make sure you have the money in your account because they will only try and make the payment 3 times, after that you're screwed.

Page 4: The I-129F form itself. This form is very straightforward and doesn't require too much thinking, unless like me you forget if your fiance was born in 1988 or 1989 in which case you have to keep asking. Maybe that's just me.

Page 5: The I-129F Supplement: Part B. On the I-129F form, question 18, there is a space that asks you to describe how you two met and if you have seen each other in the past two years, which is a requirement for the visa. DO NOT TRY TO FIT IT ALL IN THAT TINY BOX. The immigration officers do not have microscopes in which to read the tiny print. Instead make this page; the Supplement. In here you will want to state who you are and when you met. Liam and I met on May 24th 2011. We have seen each other 3 times in person and we notated them on this form.

Page 6 & 7: The G-325A forms aka Biographic Information for both you and your fiance. This was the biggest pain in the butt. Liam had to fill out his own form and I had to fill out mine. It states that all the forms have to be original but I spoke with an immigration officer who said its fine to have a photo copy of the original form. Make sure EVERYTHING is filled out for both of you and correctly. We had a major time trying to figure out the Family information cause he wrote his step mother was his ex-wife! HA-HA

Page 8: Birth certificate and other information. This information is for you to prove you are an American citizen. You need to have a valid birth certificate or you have to have photo copies of YOUR WHOLE PASSPORT, cover to cover. I just did my birth certificate. My last name changed when my mother re-married I had to have a proof of adoption and my new birth certificate, I also had to include my mother's new marriage license.

Page 9 & 10: Letter certifying intent to marry. I LOVED doing this. It was so nice to see in writing that Liam and I were getting married. We each wrote a letter that stated that we are willing and legally able to marry each upon Liam's entry into the US. Its really not a big deal, but I love the little things.

Page 11: Proof of having met in person in the past two years. I have seen a lot of examples online of this. I still think my way was more organized and effective. First I printed out the four airplane itineraries. My trip from November, Liam's first trip in March, my trip in May and his trip in September this year. Then I printed out photos from each trip (Good tip: ALWAYS TAKE AS MANY PHOTOS AS YOU CAN WHEN YOU ARE TOGETHER! Make sure it has some recognizable landmarks too).  I labeled each picture with who was in them, where they were taken and what day they were taken on. Then I signed each of them and dated them. I put them all into an envelope and wrote " (blank) Trip" and attached it to the significant itinerary. It look very organized and put together.


Page 12: Proof of ongoing relationship: This was the HARDEST part. Liam and I, in the year and a half we've known each other have 9,000 e-mails between us. This is not including the everyday Skype calls and periodic phone calls. We didn't know which ones to include, which ones would be too much information and which ones would be beneficial to send. We ended up picking a bunch of e-mails from each month. We even included Skype call captions, like still pictures of us Skyping. I also added our very first conversation to each other. It was a nice way to end our visa process, by going through our history and reading how we feel in love with each other.

By the way I want to make sure you all know that EVERYTHING that you include in your visa MUST be SIGNED AND DATED by you the petitioner. The declaration of meeting, the intent to marry and the bio sheet must be signed and dated by your fiance. This is VERY important.


This is everything we included. So far we haven't heard anything except that the visa is now in Virginia being processed and being put through initial review. How exciting! I know it's been so long since I've posted but my life has been crazy lately. I haven't been busy or anything but things have just been one shot down after another. I'm not going to lie, long distance relationships are simply the hardest thing I have ever gone through, especially one where your engaged to be married. The only thing that makes it worth your while is knowing that the person on the other side of that computer/phones loves you as much as you love them. Every night Liam and I crawl into our beds and have fifteen minutes to ourselves. We talk about everything from YouTube videos to the fact that in fifteen days we're going to see each other! I like to call this "cuddle time" and it is the reason I get up in the morning, because I know that once I get home from work I will be able to have him all to myself , if only for those small fifteen minutes. If you are in a long distance relationship I URGE you to give each other at least fifteen minutes a day, talk about your day or don't talk at all and just give yourselves time to look into each other eyes. You will feel closer that you are. Trust me.

Until next time. Keep smiling guys! :)